Today I had my biggest anxiety flare up since I stopped breastfeeding, which I stopped due to the uncontrollable anxiety I felt.
The day started out brilliantly, albeit slightly tired since Trixie decided to cluster feed 3am-7am, with Neil taking Dexter swimming. Trixie then napped on me so I was able to get a bit of work done whilst they were out and I felt great.
However, on their return and hearing about how much fun they’d had… the anxiety came. (I’d changed to a ring sling by this point as it was getting warm.) I worried that Dexter would feel that I’d chosen his sister over him, that I didn’t love him as much anymore, that I wouldn’t do things with him anymore… and then the guilt came.
All this is natural, we’re all adjusting to our new dynamic and my hormones are still settling down following her birth. I had a fab talk with Neil and he helped me to rationalise my anxieties away.
Needless to say, I kept Trixie on me for her whole 3 hour mega nap at lunchtime to soak up all that oxytocin and get rid of that anxiety.